October 23, 2007

Dear Little Debbie,

I am very sorry to say that I have found another.  While teaching abroad, I have rediscovered love.  I know that your Swiss Cake Rolls, Star Crunch and Nutty Bars have provided me with countless occasions of chocolate bliss but I have moved on.  No longer will the crinkle and rustle of the cellophane wrapper provide me with that jolt of adrenaline in anticipation of the empty calories you sustained me with.  I am very sorry, but my heart now belongs to Dumplings. 

I find myself riding about the streets of Bao-vegas in search of her...I call it my Dumpling Creep.  I have been known to stop at one outside vendor, order up a plate, devour it and then move on to another.  Sometimes eating lunch three times in one Creep, all-the-while accumulating vinegar spatter on my shirt from my clumsy chop-sticking.  By the end of the Creep, I resemble Hannibal Lecter who has just clamed more victims and is wearing not only the evidence but also the look of a job well-done.  I seek her in the train stations, and the shopping centers.  My pulse quickens before I sidle up to the window in the dining hall in the hopes that it is Dumpling Day at school. 

As I ride the Blue Machine about the city, I look for the steaming devices that produce the beloved meat filled crescent shaped goodness .  Upon seeing them, I yell to whomever may be near the steamers: "Niurou Jiaozi?!!  Jurou Jiaozi?!!" (Beef Dumplings?!!, Pork Dumplings?!!).  They blush, grin, and then bring me a plate and vinegar as they can see that I am a man who means business and that I know my Dumplings.  I take a table on the sidewalk, immune to the stares of passers by who can't believe the yangguizi would be eating where the locals eat.  I finish, pay my 3 yuan (about 25 cents),  get on the bike, and continue the Creep.

So I bid you farewell Little Debbie, perhaps we can rekindle what was, when I return to Meiguo (Beautiful Country) but until then, my heart belongs to Dumplings.